Wednesday, December 27, 2017

Hash tag Gamer For Life

My Grandpas both loved playing games. 
I'd say my Grandpa Layton's favorite game was Canasta, and boy was he a competitive player! 
One of my favorite memories was sitting around the card table with him holding his cards in front of his face and laughing while wiggling his eyebrows. 
His eyes, twinkling behind his glasses as he silently dared me to make a move. 
He won. 
All the time.
He was a great card player.

My Grandpa Conrad loved Crokinole. 
As the years took from him his speech and mobility, it never seemed to take away his incredible aim with the Crokinole Cue! He was a sure shot and would smirk everytime he blew one of us out of range. 

I always enjoyed playing games with my Grandpas.
I think we have something on common.

I love games.

I have all these great games sitting on shelves and I just can't wait until my kids come home so we can play. 

Throughout the year, we seem to be caught up in work, school,  and the hustle and bustle of everyday life.
The only time we seem to gather to play is over the holidays.

I plan to change this in the New Year.

I want to enjoy my kids' company before they grow up and move on with their own lives.
I want to put phones and technology behind so we can talk and laugh. 
I want to cement a bond so that when they're away from home one day, they'll look back and remember the looks on their faces, the "remember the time when..." moments. The fun, the lighthearted laughter of an uncomplicated time.
I want them to want to gather home and play.
I want them to leave their stresses behind, let down their guard, to feel like time has stood still.

I still remember the look on my Grandpa Layton's face when I told him I knew how to play canasta.

The glint in my Grandpa Conrad's eye just before he lined up his cue.

There's one other thing we may have in common...

I like to win too!


Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Mind over Matter

When you stare life face to face,
That's the real thing.
You can't run.
You can't hide.
It's there.
Staring right back at you.
All the wrongs you've done.
All the rights.
You do the math and it doesn't wash.
How do you compete?
Why do you even care?
If all is said and all is done...
Why is there so much left to do?
How do you accomplish?
How do you overcome.
Weaknesses, Strengths.
It's all in the mind they say.
Mind over matter.
If you haven't got a mind it doesn't matter.
Yet here I sit spinning.
Wondering if anything is worth my mind.
Wondering if anything matters.
Asking myself "why" over and over.
If it doesn't matter... why do I mind?

Friday, May 26, 2017

Echo

When you think you know and you don't know anything at all.
When you work so hard and you don't have anything to show.
When you give your heart and soul but nobody gives a damn.
And all you've done- ends in broken shards.
You spend all your time searching for answers and when you do they end up wrong.
The road is paved with good intentions.
But nobody counts the blood and tears.
So another day ends and all is forgotten- except the things that haunt you most.
All you can see are your mistaken errors and all the times you felt you lost.
This is my day and this is my nightmare- And all that echos are the fears in my head.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

The same old song

When your whole heart aches because your mind's been shattered.
And you're shivering cold in the heat of summer.
When you want to scream but no one cares.
And you want to run but you don't know where.

When all your friends are superficial.
You think they know you but you don't know yourself.
You want to tell but your concious won't let you.
And you hold it all in until you think you'll explode.
And then you gasp for air but there's nothing there.

When all you do is an empty cycle.
You think you can but you know you won't.
You want to cry but the tears are dry.
And you curse yourself but you don't know why.

And then it plays again, an endless rerun.
You want to let go but you know you can't.
Because it hurts too much and then you see.
How alone you are in world of hope.
And you take a big breath buy you just can't cope.

And then it plays again
The same old song.

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Where Did Wonder Woman Go?

Once upon a time I thought I was Wonder Woman.
That I could do it all.
Well I spoke the truth.
I wore the bracelets and braced the shield.
I destructed anyway.
If the jet was real, I'd fade away-
Instead, I'm hanging up my sandals.
Throwing down the sword.
Make Believe was my armor,
Now it's an unamoured lie.

Friday, May 19, 2017

The Harder I Try The Better I Fall

The world squeezes so tight that I can't breathe.
I'm moving forward in liquid motion  watching people dance by in a blurried frenzy.
A friendly voice on the end of the line in a twisted fate hides a cowards face.
Stuck in a prison I'm afraid to leave watching rose petals fall in a listless angst.
Here's to the dreamers wishing on fallen stars.
Here's to the realists living on borrowed dreams.
To the ones who love and to the ones who live.
I used to be the one who lived to love.


Tuesday, May 16, 2017

The Light At The End.

I stand alone in a crowded room
I open my mouth to scream a silent scream
My face is set in a stoic silence, inside I break into a thousand pieces.
There's a light at the end of the tunnel.  I spin around and the light is still there.
Which way do I go?
"Into the light!"
What do you do when there's a light at both ends?
When you give up your life because you owe it to others.
Which light do you choose?
Or is it safest to stay in the shadows where shadows don't disappoint.