"I Can't Go Back To Yesterday Because I Was A Different Person Then." -Lewis Caroll

Lewis Caroll is great isn't he?

I mean for a hallucinating rambling author he had quite a way with words.

His writings always give me cause to pause and view life through a broader scope.

I sit and think a lot sometimes about the past twenty years of my life. 

Knowing what I know now, would I have made different choices?

Would I have pursued my goal of becoming a Marine Biologist?

Would I have pursued my passion for the Stage?

Would I have pushed myself harder and become an Olympic Swimmer?

Or Would I have ended up walking the catwalk in Milan, my face splashing the cover of Vogue?

All of those things were within my grasp.

All of those things I so easily gave up on. 

It's funny, as a Swim Coach I spent my time teaching kids to not limit themselves. 

To push through the barriers and limitations set upon them by their own insecurities and by the world.

I routinely taught them that "There was no such thing as "Can't." 

That the word simply didn't exist.

I watched children who could barely put their face in the water excel and grow into superb athletes. 

I shared in their enthusiasm and praised their accomplishments whenever a new skill was learned.

I often wondered why I set such harsh limitations on myself.

Why was I so eager for everyone else to succeed and so content with mediocrity for myself.

With my own children, I encourage them to pursue their dreams, goals, passions. Whatever drives them is where I want them to succeed. 

I want them to look back on their life in twenty years and be exactly where they wanted to be. 

Doing exactly what they wanted to be doing.

I wouldn't say that I regret my life by any means.

The choices I've made have allowed me to raise three beautiful and incredibly gifted and talented children.

As my children are growing up, almost ready to leave the nest, I'm starting to think more and more about my future.

Am I satisfied continuing life the way I have been?

I know that I am not.

So what do I change?

How do I do things differently?

How do I make it so that in twenty years from now I can look back and be content with the way the rest of my life played out?

I don't really know. 

But I think I'll start with removing some of those limitations I've set for myself.

"In the end... we only regret the chances we didn't take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make," - Lewis Caroll